This ^ this is how I feel right now. Like there is no escaping where I am in my life, I cannot honestly picture myself smaller than I am. I have fantasies about how I might look. I would like to be thinner, healthier, but at this point in the journey... I feel like it's not going to happen. The novelty of starting something new has worn off and now I'm faced with going on just because... Which is not as exciting.
Despite no longer being excited, I'm trying to make lasting decisions for my health, start new traditions. I got out for a run before going and eating a bit too much at my in-laws house for Easter. Now that the play is no longer looming Chris and I bought stuff for lunches this week (which is HUGE when it comes to my wallet AND my calorie intake).
Tonight I head to the service for my friends Mom Jenice, I'm hoping to keep on top of my emotions, allow myself to feel, to grieve, but to not fall apart. Falling apart is not going to help any one.
This is not a terribly exciting post, I realize but I'm trying to continue to reflect, even if I don't feel like i have anything good to write. Hopefully I'll get a second wind and be able to give you something better to read in the near future.
Despite no longer being excited, I'm trying to make lasting decisions for my health, start new traditions. I got out for a run before going and eating a bit too much at my in-laws house for Easter. Now that the play is no longer looming Chris and I bought stuff for lunches this week (which is HUGE when it comes to my wallet AND my calorie intake).
Tonight I head to the service for my friends Mom Jenice, I'm hoping to keep on top of my emotions, allow myself to feel, to grieve, but to not fall apart. Falling apart is not going to help any one.
This is not a terribly exciting post, I realize but I'm trying to continue to reflect, even if I don't feel like i have anything good to write. Hopefully I'll get a second wind and be able to give you something better to read in the near future.